


together we're going a long, long way

by dragonyfox



Series: it must have been that something lovers call 'fate' [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Multi, and poor flustered cassian who doesnt know what to do with this whole romance thing, force users jyn and bodhi, god i love these three so much and theres so little content guess i gotta help out, here you go kids, thats okay bodhi and jyn have got this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9261152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonyfox/pseuds/dragonyfox
Summary: The Rogue One crew survived Scarif. What now?.AKA the soulmate au fic thats slowly turning into a way more in-depth series than i had anticipated





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from "our love is here to stay"

Bodhi can’t believe it, honestly. They made it, they finished their mission and made it out alive somehow, and on top of that? They’re hailed as heroes! He’d never been a hero before, and he didn’t feel like one now. All he’d done was bring them to that battle and get them out of there. It’s what any pilot would do.

Cassian had just finished his last round of bacta treatments, though he still confined to the medbay and couldn’t do any heavy lifting or running or even light jogging. Chirrut still had three more bacta treatments before he was allowed out of the medbay (though that hadn’t stopped him from escaping a time or two). Jyn and Baze were mostly fine, just a few blaster wounds here and there, and were patched up within an hour of arriving back at the Yavin 4 base. Bodhi hadn’t been hurt at all. He’d been scared and exhausted, but he didn’t have more than a couple of scratches from some debris flying in the air.

Mostly, though, he’s just glad that his friends and his soulmates all survived. Some of the rest of the Rogue squadron did, too, and they were in various stages of healing, but Cassian and Jyn survived.

He’d only just found them. He wanted a chance to learn what kind of soulmates he had, and he wanted a chance to keep them. He was happy just to have them in his life- he didn’t care if they were romantic or platonic.

.

Jyn likes to sit with Chirrut whenever he and Baze weren’t being overly affectionate. (She’d walked in on them making out like teenagers and she swears she’s scarred for life.) Chirrut was just a very calming presence, and always seemed to know exactly what to say whenever she needed advice. It had only been three weeks since Scarif, and already she’d chosen him as her mentor.

“Young one,” he says one day, just after Cassian had finished his last bacta treatment, “I wasn’t certain before, but now that I have had time to meditate and look into the Force, but I believe that your pilot has the Force as well.”

Jyn frowns. “As well? Who else has the Force? And- Bodhi? How did the Empire not catch that?”

Chirrut turns his head to stare at her with his unseeing eyes. She doesn’t know how he knows to make expressions, but he’s giving her the most incredulous look she’d ever received.

“Sister,” he says, “ _you_ have the Force.”

She stares at him for a long moment before spluttering out, “I- what?”

“You have the Force, sister,” he repeats, shaking his head and smiling. “If you would like, I can teach you some things. I have limited use of the Force, however, so I will need to reach out to an associate if you would like to learn more.”

“I…” She’s not sure how to handle this, so she decides to roll with it. If he turns out to be wrong, she can blame him for making her look like an idiot. “Sure? Should I go tell Bodhi...?”

Chirrut nods. “Take your time, young one.”

Jyn turns on her heel and pretends she isn’t bolting for Cassian’s room, where she’s absolutely certain she will find Bodhi at. She doesn’t want to believe Chirrut, if she’s honest. It doesn’t make sense that she could go this long without anyone figuring it out.

But… It made certain things make sense. The way she knew something would happen before it did. The way she’d always been able to uncannily dodge attacks and blaster fire in battle. The way she’d been able to lie so well. Maybe he was right.

Well, weirder things had happened, she supposes.

.

 Cassian is startled awake when Bodhi knocks something off of a table. He’s reaching for a blaster blindly when he realizes that it’s just Jyn that spooked Bodhi by storming into the room like she always does, and then he remembers he’s in the medbay and he isn’t allowed a blaster. He understands why, of course, but that doesn’t make him any less anxious about being defenseless.

“What’s going on?” he asks, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Uh,” she says, darting her eyes to Bodhi and clearly trying to get him to leave the room so she can speak to him alone; he’s a spy, he knows these things. “Nothing, I just… wanted to see if Bodhi wanted to get lunch with me.”

“You are a good liar, Jyn,” Cassian says, stifling a yawn, “but I’m better. I can tell when you’re lying. What has you so spooked?”

She pauses, no doubt calculating the right way to phrase whatever it is so he doesn’t worry or so she doesn’t offend him or something. He lets her take her time. He’s worked with plenty of people like her in his work, and he knows he has to be patient.

“Chirrut says Bodhi and I have the Force,” she says after a long moment.

Ah, so she’s playing the absurdism card to exasperate him so he doesn’t keep pushing. “Nice try, Jyn. What’s really up?”

She scoffs at him. “And you said you could tell when I’m lying.”

It hits him like a heard of bantha that she’s really not deflecting. “You’re serious?”

“I’m serious.”

“You have the Force?”

“That’s what Chirrut said.”

“And Bodhi does too?”

“Apparently.”

Cassian gently lies back down, exhausted again. This is the last thing he needs: the ever volatile Jyn Erso and the scared and anxious Bodhi Rook with crazy mystical powers. But, you know, of course it would be Cassian’s soulmates who are increasingly improbable people. This is just his luck.

.

Bodhi stares at Jyn. Surely he didn’t hear her right. She was playing a prank, or Chirrut was and he’d dragged her into it. Right? That had to be true, of course. _Right!?_

“I think-” Jyn pauses, and steps further into the room. The door shuts behind her. “I think I believe him, actually.”

Bodhi stares at her like she’s gone mad. “Why? It- it isn’t possible! The E-Empire checks for that kind of thing! They wou-would have noticed me!”

Jyn shrugs. “Maybe you used some Jedi trick on accident and slipped past. Who knows? Anyway, what’s the harm in playing along with him teaching us? What’s the worst that-”

Cassian groans from the bed. “Please don’t finish that sentence. Nothing good ever comes from that phrase.”

Jyn stops, and shrugs. “Good point. Anyway, are you in, Bodhi?”

“I-in?” Bodhi asks. She’s gone crazy. He knows this, because it’s obvious that Chirrut is going to teach them the way he was taught, and Bodhi was from Jedha, where Chirrut was trained. He’d seen the monks training, when he was a child. He knew the ridiculous things they had to do. “Are you crazy? Do you even know wh-what their training consists of!?”

“No,” she replies, “but it can’t be worse than-”

He frowns at her when she pauses, trying to figure out why she’d done that. Then he remembers in a flash that she was trained by Saw Gererra. The man who’d sic’d a mind reading beast on him. Right.

“I’m sorry,” she says, looking at him softly, “for what he did. It was wrong, and if he were still alive I’d go hunt him down and shoot him myself.”

He smiles at her. He knows. Jyn, for all of her bluster and aggressiveness, was a gentle person at heart. She protected her people, and he was one of them.

She cleared her throat and grabbed his wrist. “Anyway! C’mon, Bodhi, let’s go learn some Jedi tricks!”

He protested, but let her tug him after her without resistance. “Chirrut isn’t a Jedi!”

.

Jyn is a little jealous of Bodhi, she realizes while she’s meditating. He gets to learn how to fight while she has to sit here and try to meditate. She understood why Chirrut was training them in different things, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating. She was a fighter, Bodhi was a meditator, and it only made sense to try to even out their skills some.

Still, it’s painful watching Bodhi get knocked down again and again by Baze through the window of the medbay. He’s frustrated, and she can feel it in her bones. “Can I just-?”

“No, young one,” Chirrut says serenely. “You cannot go over there and help him.”

That’s what she figured he’d say. He’d said it every other time she’d asked, and she’s sure he’d say it again. All Bodhi needs is a boost of confidence, and if she could just go over there and give him a quiet little pep talk-

 _Oh._ Chirrut wanted her to use the Force to project to him, didn’t he?

“There you go, young one,” Chirrut says, and grins at her. “Focus on what you wish to tell him, and imagine that you’re whispering it in his ear.”

She almost rolls her eyes, but instead she stares at Bodhi, and focuses.

 _Bodhi,_ she thinks as pointedly as she knows how, _you can do this. Step back, take a deep breath. Dodge when he swings at you, watch the way he moves._

To her utter amazement, Bodhi steps away from Baze, and sucks in a huge breath. Baze takes a swing at him with the stick he’d found, and he dodges this time instead of trying to block it with Chirrut’s staff.

“Very good, Jyn,” Chirrut says. “Now, I’d be grateful if you escorted the woman who just landed on base to the medbay so I could meet her properly. Take Bodhi with you, she’ll want to meet you both.”

Jyn has no idea what he means, but if it gets her out of meditation for a while, she’s totally up for it.

.

Cassian watches his two soulmates pass by his bed in the medbay. Jyn smiles and nods at him, and Bodhi grins and waves at him before she pulls him out of sight. He doesn’t know what those two are up to, but he’s sure that whatever it is, it’s going to cause somebody trouble. He loves them, but Bodhi’s happy to follow along on crazy shenanigans and Jyn’s happy to lead them both into crazy shenanigans. It’s one thing when it’s a life or death situation and have a small chance of survival and another thing when it’s just pranks or learning how to be Jedi.

Oh, he thinks, jerking himself out of his thoughts. He means he loves them romantically. That… is rather frightening.

He’d gone so long hoping he would be able to cut off his soulmates without getting attached, and now he knew he couldn’t. Hell, there was a time he’d considered just shooting his soulmates just to be safe, but that had only ever a real plan when he was having really bad days.

He doesn’t know of a single Rebellion Intelligence officer’s soulmate. He’s sure some of them have met theirs, but so many of them have greyed out words that they’ve practiced reciting for a lot less time than they should have. Intelligence officers almost never got to keep their soulmates for long. Sure, there had been Codhee and Ahn’ya, but they were a special kind of duo and inseparable, and had vanished a year or so back.

(Everyone is pretty certain they’d silently retired to some backwater planet or something. Codhee was too good of a fighter to just be dead, and Ahn’ya was too good of a hacker to let them be found. This is how most Intelligence officers retired, if they didn’t die first.)

This is uncharted territory, for him. He wishes he had K2 here to run the possibilities of death or betrayal, but he has to wait until he’s allowed access to an empty droid body and can log into the server K2 had kept backups in. Getting a new body for his friend would be the hard part…

Cassian lets himself drift, planning out how he’s going to revive K2 instead of thinking about what to do about his soulmates.

.

Bodhi doesn’t know what’s going on. All he knows is that Jyn rescued him from training with Baze and they were going to meet some woman who had landed on the base recently. Or something. He doesn’t really know, he’s just happy to be away from Baze and that evil stick of his.

There’s a togruta lady in the landing area who he’s never seen, standing next to a beaten up old ship that he’s also never seen. He guesses that she’s who they’re supposed to be bringing to Chirrut. She’s tall, and regal, and intimidating, so Bodhi tries to duck behind Jyn, to hide. Except that Jyn stops dead and Bodhi runs into her.

Jyn stares at the woman for a long moment before saying to Bodhi, “That’s a Jedi.”

“What?” he asks. “H-how do you know?”

The togruta woman looks at them, narrows her eyes, and beckons them to her. Jyn goes immediately, like she’s a little dazed.

“Can’t you sense it?” she replies.

“N-no!” Bodhi hisses, “I can’t- can’t sense anything!”

 “Trust me,” Jyn says, and well, Bodhi can do that. He stays behind her, but follows as she goes to meet this so-called Jedi.

“I’m not actually a Jedi,” the woman says when they are close enough. “I left when I was a padawan, for my own reasons. However, an old friend called me here with a request, and after what he did for me, I couldn’t bring myself to deny him.”

Bodhi realizes with a flash of cold in his gut that Chirrut is going to ask her to teach him and Jyn how to be a Jedi. God, what has Jyn gotten him into?

“Uh,” he says, “Ch-Chirrut is this way, ma’am.”

.

Jyn watches Ahsoka from the corner of her eye the entire time she and Bodhi are walking her to the medbay. She can’t help herself. Ahsoka radiates power, and power means danger. She knew she was being irrational, but she didn’t this woman to be anywhere near her people, and she especially didn’t want Bodhi to be chatting with her like she was just a regular person.

“No, ma’am, he hasn’t told us anything about you,” Bodhi was telling the woman, “he just asked Jyn and I to bring you to him a little bit ago. He’s in the medbay still, after…”

“Yes,” the woman says, “I felt the losses from that battle. Your team was very brave.”

Bodhi looks away. Jyn sympathizes, and jumps into the conversation, “It was what had to be done, whether or not anybody believed us.”

Ahsoka nods.

They’re at the medbay before any of them can bring up a new topic. She and Bodhi wave at Cassian, who looks thoroughly confused. She’ll explain later when she and Bodhi have dinner with him.

Baze is back in the chair by Chirrut’s bed when they enter. Bodhi goes and stands behind him, which she approves of. She stays by the door, though, in case… she’s not sure in case of what. She just knows that powerful people aren’t to be trusted.

“Ah, Ahsoka!” Chirrut says and waves. “You took a little longer than I had anticipated.”

Ahsoka smiles. “Hello, old friend. I was waylaid, but I came as soon as I had time. I’m so sorry for what happened on Jedha. The Empire will not get away with this.”

.

Cassian watches as his soulmates pass by his windowed medbay room again just moments after they had the first time, and wonders who on earth that togruta lady with them is. He knows Jyn and Bodhi will tell him at dinner, but it made him no less curious. Of course, if he’s not on bed rest anymore, he can go see for himself what’s up.

“Medic droid?” he called. “Am I still on bed rest?”

“You may leave your bed so long as you stay in the medbay,” the droid replies. “Return to your bed in one point four hours for medication. In standard units, that is one hour and twenty four minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks,” he says, and throws off his blanket. “I’m sure somebody will fuss at me if I’m late, don’t worry.”

“I am a droid, Captain Andor, I do not worry.”

Cassian snorts. He always gets stuck with the sassy droids. Which reminds him that he needs to sneak out of the medbay soon and get his hands on a datapad and get to the server that K2 kept his backups on.

First, though, he’s going to see what his soulmates are up to.

He doesn’t have to go far- they, Baze, and that woman were all squished into Chirrut’s room. Jyn was leaning against the window, and Bodhi was fiddling with his goggles. Neither of them noticed him, so he leaned against the spot that Jyn was leaning against and tried to listen in on their conversation through the window.

The togruta woman was speaking: “…would be happy… these… know… more… Master…”

Yeah, these windows were a little more soundproof than he’d thought. He heaves himself off of the window and walks into the room with all of the confidence he can muster. The limp really makes that hard, but he’ll take what he can get.  

“Yes, but I am still injured and have been disallowed from even getting up for anything other than the bathroom,” Chirrut replies. “Hello Captain.”

“Hello,” he greets, and then leans on the wall next to Jyn.

The togruta woman laughs. “You’re calling in an eighteen year old favor because you’re bedbound and grumpy about it? Alright, I’ll teach your friends what I can about the Force, until you’re ready to teach them yourself. But I’m ignoring all of the Jedi rhetoric, my friend. That’s your job.”

Jedi rhetoric? Oh, for the love of… Of course he’d get the two most stressful soulmates one could imagine. Of course. That’s just his luck.

(He wouldn’t have it any other way.)

.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: obi wan survived the death star. Haven’t decided how yet lmao. he's only mentioned in passing so far though. Also fair warning, Jyn has an anxiety attack.

If Bodhi had thought Baze was evil with his stick, Ahsoka was twice as bad. She’d managed to scrounge up a pair of combat training remotes, which stung like a motherfucker when they shot you. She was letting him borrow one of her lightsaber blades for practice, and teaching him whatever the hell Form I was.

It was exhausting, and even when they had to relocate to Hoth, the freezing cold planet, he found himself shedding layers during her training so he wouldn’t die of heatstroke. Of course, the second training was over he threw all of those layers back on because Hoth was fucking cold. The fur lined jacket that he’d won off of one of the x-wing pilots is absolutely worth the ban from playing sabbac with them again. Bodhi just isn’t cut out for the cold. Jedha was a cold planet, but this was beyond even the most bitter of Jedha winters.

But, for all that he hated and dreaded the training that Ahsoka and Chirrut and Baze were giving him and Jyn, he had to admit that he’d never felt more confident in himself. He still stuttered and froze up sometimes, but having helped destroy a planet-killer and meet not one, not two, but _three_ jedi? He was a goddamn hero, as unbelievable as that was.

Of course, the things that still threw him off were starting to get more common, he thinks, as he stares at Ahsoka and hopes he heard her wrong.

“We’re going where to make what?” Jyn demands.

“We’re going to a planet in the outer rim that still has kyber crystals, and you two are going to build your own lightsabers there,” Ahsoka replied breezily. “I was just going to buy and steal some from smugglers, but Chirrut and Obi Wan insisted.”

.

Jyn wants to strangle Chirrut a little bit. She and Bodhi barely have time between cargo runs to do their training in the first place, and now he wants them to leave for who knows how long just to make a damn lightsaber?

“This is stupid,” she tells him as she stands above his bed with Bodhi next to her and Ahsoka across from them, “we don’t have time to be running around, pretending to be padawans. Everyone except you has been cleared for combat- we should be out there fighting the Empire!”

“Peace,” he says. “It will be worth it, I promise. Besides, who doesn’t want a lightsaber?”

Jyn can’t argue that. Everyone wants a lightsaber. That doesn’t mean it’s worth it to the rebellion to go make one. She should be out on the front lines and Bodhi should be using the mind trick he’d just learned on captured troops. It just makes sense! But instead, they’re supposed to just go off and find some stupid crystals to create lightsabers with!

“What he’s trying to say is that it will boost morale to see more Jedi around,” Baze adds from his chair in the corner. “Jedi are symbols of hope, and as our Captain says…”

“Rebellions are built on hope,” Bodhi finishes his sentence, and sighs. “Jyn, he- he’s right. Look how happier everyone on the base has been since S-Skywalker arrived, even when we had to relocate to this- this frozen hellscape.”

She groans. Bodhi always gave in to the rest of the crew so easily. “Not you too, Bodhi.”

“Lightsabers, Jyn,” he replies, and grins shyly, “ _lightsabers.”_

Fine! If they want her to take a vacation to make a dumb sword, she’ll do it. But only because Bodhi wanted a lightsaber. Not because she wanted one. “…If we’re doing this, I want two.”

Ahsoka laughs. “Then you’ll have to build two. Let’s go collect your soulmate, and get going. I don’t imagine he’d let you go out alone.”

“No,” Jyn agrees, and realizes that this is an excellent opportunity to trap Cassian and make him make a decision about her and Bodhi. “No he won’t.”

.

Cassian, once he’d been properly introduced to Ahsoka, realized that she was agent Fulcrum before he was, which made him immediately more comfortable with her. He’d been honored to receive that codename: she’d done a lot of good work under it, even if his definition of good was different than most.

 And, upon seeing her fight- even the nearly playful training kind of fighting she was doing with Bodhi and Jyn- he was impressed. He stifles his jealousy, and rightly so. If he’d been caught by Empire goons with as high of a midi-chlorian count as either of his soulmates had, it would have raised attention he didn’t need.  

(He admits he doubted that either of them had the Force until he saw Bodhi summon the stick that Ahsoka had knocked from his hands and saw Jyn dodge a stinger from the remote droid while blindfolded.)

Of course, that didn’t mean he couldn’t admire his soulmates from a distance. The distance was for multiple reasons: he was still being a coward, he wasn’t allowed out of the medbay yet, he didn’t want to distract them, he wanted to work on restoring K2 in peace, and so on.

And he has to admit, he really likes Ahsoka, but he’d like her more if she wasn’t dragging his datemates- _soulmates!-_ into whatever Jedi business stuff this was. To an outer rim planet. Which was supposedly unpopulated. Where he’d be alone with Jyn and Bodhi for at least a good chunk of the time they were out there.

“It could be dangerous,” Jyn says, pretending very badly to be casual about it. “You know how the outer rim is.”

Damn her. He knows she’s going to corner him and make him talk about his _feelings_ and he doesn’t want to. He wants to just exist near his soulmates. He knows he’s being a coward but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop.

“I’m coming with,” he says, stifling a sigh, “let me pack up my stuff, and I’ll be ready to go. Are Chirrut and Baze coming?”

Jyn shrugs, grinning. He knows she knows she’s won. “Probably. Anyway, I’ll see you on our ship. Do you want me to pick you up some caf for the trip?”

“…Yes,” he answers. He’s going to need it.

.

 Bodhi loves flying. He halfway forgets when he’s grounded for too long, but the second he sits in a pilots’ seat and starts the engine of his ship, he feels it in his bones that this is where he belongs. Not even the horrifying experience of flying away from Scarif as the earth below crumbles and implodes is enough to dampen his love for flying.

Cassian taking the co-pilot’s seat is icing on the cake, though.

“Jyn’s doing some training with that remote and I keep getting stung,” Cassian says when he pops his head through the door, “do you mind if I sit with you for a while?”

“Uh, um, of course not,” Bodhi replies, waving him in.

Cassian smiles, sits next to him, and starts putting a few things on the dash. Bodhi, though he isn’t a slicer by any stretch of the imagination, recognizes some of the tools Cassian pulls from his bag. They’re all tools for small electronics, and then Casian pulls out what looks like a droid data-brain and a datapad.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m…” Cassian trails off with a sad expression. Bodhi almost regrets asking. “I’m trying to revive K2. I know, it’s stupid, he’s just a droid, but… he was- he _is_ my best friend.”

Bodhi’s heart aches. “I don’t think that’s stupid.”

“You don’t?” Cassian looks at him. Bodhi can see a glint of calculation in his eye, but Cassian always has that glint. Bodhi knows it doesn’t mean the same thing in him as it did on Imperial Officers.

“Of course not,” Bodhi replies. He hadn’t had any friends in the Empire. Not real ones, anyway, and never for long. “Droids make better friends than humans sometimes.”

Cassian laughs. It’s a quiet laugh, but it’s a nice sound, like the rumble of gentle thunder in the distance. Bodhi wishes Cassian would laugh more.

.

Jyn steps out of the ship first, when they land. It’s a beautiful planet, with lush green grass and vegetation and huge patches of dark, familiar sand. It evokes echoes of memories long buried. In the distance there’s a small, abandoned homestead.  Beyond that, there are green-coated hills and valleys, and she knows that she’s been here before. 

“What’s this planet called again?” she asks. Her voice barely sounds familiar.

“Lah’mu,” Ahsoka answers. “Why?”

She doesn’t recognize that name, and realizes that she’s never known the name of the world she’d lost her parents on.  

“Jyn?” Bodhi appears at her side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she lies. She feels sick. She wants to run; she’s not sure where. Back to the ship? The house in the distance? The hidden latch in the cave? “I’m okay.”

“Ahsoka,” Cassian says, “How about you and Bodhi go look for this Kyber crystal cave? Me and Jyn can go see if anyone lives at that house there.

“Yeah, o-okay,” Bodhi says. “C’mon, Master Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka sighs dramatically. “For the last time, I’m not your master…”

Her voice trails off, and Jyn stops listening. She wonders if this is where that bastard- she doesn’t even know his name- if this is where he landed. The patch of abandoned farmland before her seems smaller than she remembers it being. The grass should nearly be as tall as her, right?

“Jyn, breathe,” Cassian says.

She tries, but she can’t think, she doesn’t understand how it’s possible to be here after so many years of not knowing, of not thinking about it, and she’s angry and horrified. How had she forgotten the planet her mother had died on? The planet her father had been kidnapped from? The planet she’d been left on, the planet Saw had rescued her from, the planet that was apparently an unknown source of kyber, and fuck if that evil bastard had known that this planet would have been mined to the core. How could her father have been so stupid to hide on a planet with kyber on it? Had he known? Had he-

“Jyn,” Cassian says again.

She breathes.

.

Cassian has seen this before. A couple of intelligence officers he’d known had retired due to these kind of anxiety attacks. He’d also known a lot of contacts that had them. Nervous, anxious people made for good contacts because they didn’t require much pressure before they answered your questions, so you didn’t have to be so rough with them. He didn’t like being rough with his contacts.

“It’s okay, Jyn,” he tells her. Gentle affirmations and repeating the person’s name usually brought them out of it pretty quickly. “I promise, it’s okay. Whatever happened before is over. You’re safe, I swear.”

She shakes her head, but he’s pretty sure she’s not disagreeing with him She pauses, then shakes her head again, and takes a few meditative breaths. He knows when she’s calmed back down because she looks him in the eye. 

“Thank you,” she says quietly. 

“It was no problem,” he replies. He would have helped anyone freaking out like she was, and she was his soulmate, so of course he wouldn’t leave her alone. “I was happy to help.”

“I know,” she says, and goes to say something else, but stops.

He debates on it for a second, then asks, “do you want to go see the house? Or do you want to catch up with Bodhi and Ahsoka?”

She swallows. He stays quiet. He doesn’t know exactly what’s going on, so he doesn’t want to push her. He also doesn’t want to ask. She’ll tell him in her own time.

“The house,” she says eventually. “I want to see the house.”

He nods, and takes the lead. He can hear her feet behind him in the sand. He hopes that whatever she’s going through ends soon- he hates to see her in pain.

.

 Bodhi itches to go back and help Jyn, but he follows after Ahsoka. He knows that Cassian can help her just as well as he could. And, honestly, Bodhi probably would have had his own freak out, which would not have helped her at all. Instead, he walks with Ahsoka, who is quiet, and has her eyes closed and one hand stretching out in front of her.

She sometimes alters her course, following in the direction her hand points to. Bodhi guesses she’s sensing the kyber crystals, but he doesn’t know how. She didn’t teach him that yet.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when Ahsoka says, “You’re not suited to sensing.”

“W-what?”

“You’re too inwardly focused,” she says. Her eyes are still closed. “You could try, but I don’t know how far you’d get. Bet you’d be amazing with the good old-fashioned jedi mind trick, though.”

“I don’t think I- I understand.”

Ahsoka shrugs. “Jyn thinks about outside things in relations to her. You think of yourself in relation to outside things. It’s okay, I’m not a jedi. I’m not going to hassle you about it.”

He still doesn’t get it, but doesn’t say so. He decides to redirect the conversation. “Have you found the kyber crystals yet?”

“Yes,” she says, apparently accepting the subject change, “I know where they are. Shall we get back to your soulmates, or would you like to find your crystals first?”

“I want to go back to Jyn and Cassian,” he says immediately.

She smiles. “I thought as much.”

Bodhi leads the way back to the ship. Anxiety attacks are awful, he knows from experience. He wants to make sure Jyn is okay. He really hopes she’s okay.  

.

Jyn thinks she’s going to be okay. The house was emptied, and there wasn’t even a piece of freestanding furniture left. It felt almost sterile, aside from the layers of dust and the stale air. No more memories are summoned from the depths of her mind.

 “How are you feeling?” Cassian asks her.

She trails her hand along the wall, trying to remember long forgotten childhood memories. She remembers frazzles, curly hair, lighter than her own. She remembers pretending to gag when her papa kissed her mama. She remembers a toy, a doll. It was handmade with white and black plastic. She’d lost that when she was running to the cave.

“I think I’m okay now,” she says with a shrug. “Sad, I think. Homesick for a place I hardly remember. I’m sorry I freaked out on you.”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. It happens, sometimes. What’s important is that you’re feeling better, yes?”

“Yeah.”

They leave the house, and the memories still don’t return, not even when she steps back outside and sees the volcanic sand from nearly the same angle as when she was a child. She sees Bodhi and Ahsoka in the distance. They must have located the crystals. She puts her hand to her chest, feeling the one her mother had given her as a child, the last time she was on this planet.

An idea occurs to her.

.

Cassian now feels abjectly terrible for being a coward. He shouldn’t have been the one to comfort her; Bodhi should have. She’s closer to Bodhi, anyway, because Bodhi may be an anxious bundle of wires, but at least he wasn’t a coward like Cassian was.

“Thank you,” Jyn says.

He looks at her, and sees her looking back. She’s sincere- he can see that in the lines of her face and the way her gaze holds steady like a lightning bolt striking a metal pole.

He thinks of dismissing her thanks, but feels like it would be cruel, somehow. “You’re welcome, Jyn. I’m always happy to help you, if I can.”

She smiles at him, and he can’t help but smile back even as he realizes that he’s head over heels for her and there’s no way he can back out now. Well, right now isn’t the best time to profess his love for her, but he thinks that maybe after Scarif, he’s done being a coward.

What’s the point, really? Everyone knows that soulmates are brought together by the Force, and if the Force wants him to be with Jyn and Bodhi for the rest of his life, well, who’s he to argue? He’s being given a gift, and he’s been ungrateful. That stops now.

He turns to Jyn, and prepares himself, but she cuts him off.

“Cassian,” she says, her smile widening to a grin. “You know I can sense your emotions, right?”

He scowls playfully at her. “Yeah? Then what am I feeling?”

“Oh, please,” she scoffs, looking at Bodhi in the distance. “I’m not going to spoil it for you. At least wait until Bodhi’s here to finally admit it. I want to win that bet, damn it.”

“Bet?” he asks. They’d been betting on when he’d give in? He wants to feel offended, but really he’s just amused.  

“Yeah,” she says with a  grin, “I bet that you’d tell us both at the same time that you’re ready to be romantic, he bet you’d tell one of us impulsively and then run away.”

Cassian laughs loudly. It feels good. It feels even better when Jyn joins in.

.

Bodhi nearly falls over with relief when he sees Jyn and Cassian laughing. He has a vague feeling that they’re laughing at his expense, but discards that thought. Discarding anxious thoughts is one of his favorite new tricks.

“Ahsoka,” Jyn says when they’re close enough, “Can we have a minute alone?”

“Of course,” Ahsoka says with a wink, then turns on her heel towards the ship. “Have fun, kids, come get me when you’re ready.”

Jyn beckons him to follow her, and he does. She leads him and Cassian to an alcove on the side of the house. Bodhi’s sure that the inside of the house would be more comfortable, but he doesn’t want to say anything, in case Jyn’s avoiding it for a reason.

“So,” Jyn says, “I’m about to win our bet.”

Bodhi groans.

“Did you really think I’d run after blurting out my feelings?” Cassian asks with a grin. “First of all, I’m a coward, but I’m also a spy. We don’t just blurt our feelings out.”

“And you said you were a good gambler,” Jyn adds

“I am good!” Bodhi insists. He’s incredible at _card_ games, like sabacc. “Even great gamblers make bad bets sometimes.”

 Cassian clears his throat and says, softer, “I’m sorry for being a coward.”

Bodhi wants to argue. Cassian isn’t a coward by any stretch of the imagination. The entire Scarif mission wouldn’t have been possible without him. But Bodhi stays quiet and lets Cassian speak.

“I’ve spent so long pushing away attachments to get the job done that I forgot how to deal with them. I was scared, even after Scarif.” He looks away and towards the ground. “But, uh, I realized, just now, that there’s nothing really left to be a coward about; we survived a suicide mission like I’ve never been on.”

Bodhi snaps to attention at that. Suicide missions? Plural? “You- you’ve what?”

Cassian shrugs. “Spies get sent on suicide missions all the time. I’ve always made it out before. Don’t worry, though, I won’t be taking any more of those.”

“You’d better not,” Bodhi says as darkly as he can. “Y- you’ve got us now. You- you can’t leave us alone after- after-”

“Yeah,” Cassian says, “I know. I won’t.”

Bodhi wants a goddamned hug. He twitches towards them, but pulls back, frightened. Then he steels himself, and throws himself onto Cassian’s chest while dragging Jyn towards the both of them.

.

Jyn sinks into Bodhi’s grip with ease, and grins triumphantly when she feels Cassian’s arm come up and over her shoulder. Her soulmates were warm, and she will never admit it but she snuggled into Cassian’s open coat. She feels Bodhi do the same, and she swears Cassian huffs out a laugh.

That’s okay though, she realizes, breathing in the mixed scent of her two soulmates. She knows that he means his laughter in the most affectionate way.

“I love you,” she hears, muffled, from Bodhi.

“I love you too,” Cassian says softly.

“I love you three,” She says, unable to stop herself from joking. “Does this mean we can kiss now? Who gets to go first?”

“Nobody,” Bodhi declares, sounding braver than she’s ever heard him.

His hand slides behind her head, gently making her face him, and she sees that he’s done the same to Cassian. All three of them collide as one, gentle and chaste, but awkward. It’s the best kiss she’s ever had in her life.

“There,” Bodhi says, soft again, like rain on a window. “Nobody was first. We all win.”

She laughs. “You’re not getting out of those ten credits!”

“Drat,” he says, snapping his fingers. “I thought you’d forget about that. Can I owe you a- a drink, instead?”

“Sure, Bodhi,” she agrees.

“Aren’t you two here for some Jedi thing?” Cassian asks. “I’d like to get back to base where I can requisition a room with a bed big enough for us three.”

She remembers her idea from earlier and reaches under her shirt for her necklace. She takes it off and presses it into Bodhi’s hand.

“What…?” he asks.

“My mother gave it to me when I was last here,” she says, feeling almost naked without it around her neck, but unrepentant. “I think it would be put to better use protecting you than just being a sentimental lump of rock on a cord.”

Bodhi tries to push it back into her hands. “I- Jyn, I- I can’t, this was- I-”

“Bodhi,” she says, “please.”

He stares at her for a long moment, his jaw loose and his eyes wide. His fingers curl around the crystal and he pulls it to his chest. He says, “Okay.”

She smiles and pulls away. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to ask Ahsoka where that cave is. Feel free to have fun while I’m gone!”

She hears the both of them spluttering while she walks away, triumphant. She misses their arms around her, but she’ll be able to come right back to them when she’s done finding her crystals. Cassian will have radioed the base with his requisition, and they’ll be able to go home to a warm room on a cold planet.

Home is all she’s ever really wanted, and now she has one.  


End file.
